Introduction

Giving up an advantage can sometimes seem like throwing away an opportunity for joy. But Proverbs 3 assures us that this is not the case. The path of wisdom is the path of life, even when the path of wisdom seems to conflict with common sense.

In Pro 3:1-10 we have five advice from the father to his son, each time followed by a promise of blessing if he takes the advice to heart.
1. In Pro 3:1 the advice, in Pro 3:2 the promise of blessing.
2. In Pro 3:3 the advice, in Pro 3:4 the promise of blessing.
3. In Pro 3:5-6 the advice, in Pro 3:6b the promise of blessing.
4. In Pro 3:7 the advice, in Pro 3:8 the promise of blessing.
5. In Pro 3:9 the advice, in Pro 3:10 the promise of blessing.

Here we must remember that these are promises that will certainly be fulfilled, but not always already during life on earth. It is also possible that they will be fulfilled in the future. We may trust that God will fulfill His promises of blessing in His time and in His way if we do from our hearts what He asks of us, even if in this life the wicked prosper and the righteous suffer.

Do Not Forget the Teaching

The first advice the father gives to his son is not to forget his “teaching” (Pro 3:1). “Teaching” is the translation of the word torah. That word is used for the law of God, but it has multiple meanings. Here it refers to what we might call homeschooling. The father has passed on his knowledge in teaching his son at home. It is an indication to fathers to teach their children from Scripture at home and not leave that to others, for example, those who give Bible lessons or Bible studies.

The father reminds his son not to forget what he learned at home, in his upbringing. Forgetting here is not so much a weakness of memory as the deliberate neglect and disregard of the father’s teaching. For us, there is in this the warning that we can lose what we learned in our young years from the Word of God. The teaching will not be forgotten if the commandments are kept in the heart. By the way, a person can obey commandments outwardly, that is, without the heart being involved. That is not what the father wants, nor is it what God wants.

The heart is the storehouse for the commandments, just as the law was laid in the ark (Deu 10:6). In the kingdom of peace, God will write His law in the hearts of His people (Heb 8:10). The heart indicates the mind. If the commandments are observed in the heart, the deeds, which, after all, spring from the heart (Pro 4:23), will be consistent with it. Then the deeds will not be sinful deeds (Psa 119:11). Above all, then there will not be compulsive, but joyful obedience.

The blessing attached to this advice is a long and good life (Pro 3:2). “Length of days” (cf. Psa 91:16) refers to reaching old age after a ‘long parade of days’. “Years of life and peace” refers more to content (“life”) and quality (“peace”). It is a full and rich life worth living to the fullest. The word “peace” is the translation of the word shalom and implies more than just the absence of war. It is victory, success in what is undertaken, perfect harmony, prosperity, health, happiness, salvation, a long life.

In the kingdom of peace, the teaching and the commandments will not be forgotten, but kept in the heart (Heb 8:10b). Therefore, during that time the years of enjoying life and peace will be multiplied instead of being taken away at some point. The latter has happened time and again in Israel’s history because the people have not kept the teaching and the commandments of God’s Word.

It does not mean that everyone who keeps the commandments in his heart in this day and age will consequently live long. Consider believers who have been and are persecuted, tortured and killed precisely because of their faithfulness to God’s Word, and often in the prime of their lives (Heb 11:36-38). Faithful prophets who had God’s Word in their heart and brought it were put to death (Mt 23:34; 37). And what happened to the Lord Jesus Who listened to His Father in every way and perfectly fulfilled the advice of Pro 3:1? He was killed in the midst of His days. So, what about the promise of long life and peace?

The promise of a long life and peace will be fully fulfilled in the future. Life and peace are enjoyed in their fullness and length in the millennial kingdom of peace. God fulfills all His promises, but not always already here and now. That we live in faith that the promises are fulfilled, we show by continuing to believe even when it seems that the promises are not fulfilled. That faith, that faith trust, characterized all Old Testament believers. That trust in God was perfectly present with the Lord Jesus. That trust may also characterize us.

Kindness and Truth

Not forgetting teaching and keeping the commandments in Pro 3:1 is not a static thing. Teaching and commandments work something out, for they form the character of the believer. To this, Pro 3:3 connects. Through teaching and commandments the characteristics of the new life are formed. Two of them are “kindness and truth”.

They are two of God’s many impressive attributes (Psa 117:2). They are seen perfectly in the life of the Lord Jesus. It was a joy for God to notice those attributes in His Son. It is also a joy to His heart when He can notice them in us. God has proven and continues to prove kindness and truth to the believer. Of this the believer should remain impressed, he should never forget it, the thought of it should never leave him. However, God has not only proved kindness and truth, but He has also given them to the believer, for they belong to the new life he has received.

What could not happen to the Lord Jesus can happen to us, and that is that we forget God’s kindness and truth that He has shown us, that they leave us. As a result, these attributes do not become visible in our life and they also leave us in that sense. This is why the father tells his son – and every believer – to make sure that “kindness and truth” do not leave him”.

The father tells him how to do it. He should bind them around his neck like an ornament. The neck indicates self-will. A word like “stiff-necked” indicates that. If “kindness and truth” are bound around the neck like an ornament, it means that one’s own will is not followed, but that these characteristics govern life. He must also write both these characteristics on the tablet of his heart (cf. Jer 31:33; 2Cor 3:3; Deu 6:8-9). As a result, they will be the motives from which he acts. He thereby submits himself to the will of God.

“Kindness” is goodness shown to another and excludes all forms of selfishness and hatred. “Truth” is being trustworthy, being reliable; it excludes all hypocrisy. We can therefore say that kindness and truth are parallel to grace and truth.

This pair, grace and truth, is united in perfect harmony in Christ: “Grace and truth came to be through Jesus Christ” ( Jn 1:17). We see this above all on the cross. On the basis of this pair, God was able to accept us. The eternal life that is our portion shows this pair in our life. Both aspects must be in harmony. There may not be love at the expense of truth, and there may not be truth without love (cf. 2Jn 1:1-13; 3Jn 1:1-15). This is elaborated in the following verses: in Pro 3:5-6 live in the love of God and in Pro 3:7-8 live in the truth, which means separation from evil.

The first blessing of listening to wisdom, as we saw in Pro 3:2, concerns the God-fearing person’s own life. The second blessing has to do with relationships (Pro 3:4). If the advice of Pro 3:3 is followed, the son will find “favor and good repute in the sight of God and man”. We see this in the life of the Lord Jesus. He lived in kindness and truth, and found what is written here (Lk 2:52). We also see it in the life of Samuel (1Sam 2:26; cf. 2Cor 8:21).

“Favor” is free goodness; it is something that cannot be claimed. When we find favor with people, it is not a merit of our own; we cannot claim it as a right, but will receive it if we show kindness and truth. Although Joseph was a prisoner, he found favor or grace in the eyes of Potiphar (Gen 39:4). Those who show kindness and truth conspicuous in a favorable sense. It is heeded, looked upon and appreciated, both by God and people. If we listen to the advice of this father, we will experience the same.

Trust in the LORD

The third advice is to trust in the LORD with the whole heart and expect nothing from our own understanding (Pro 3:5). Trusting with the whole heart is focusing the whole inner life – the whole will, feeling and understanding – on God. It is about actively trusting in Him. It applies to every minute of our life, wherever we are – at home, in society, at school or work, in the church – and in whatever we do.

One should not want to lean on a creature or anything from the possession or abilities of a creature, not even on anything from ourselves (cf. 2Chr 14:11). This is not a contradiction between the heart on the one hand and understanding on the other, but between one’s own understanding and the Lord. We must trust in the Lord and not in ourselves.

The father also advises his son to know God in all his ways (Pro 3:6). “All your ways” means everything he plans, everything he says, all his doings. It does not just refer to moments of crisis, when big and important decisions must be made. If we involve Him in all daily things, we will also automatically go to Him with the big things. To know Him in all our ways means that we begin everything with Him, walk with Him in it and also complete it with Him. This requires obedience and surrender in every area of our lives.

It also means that He does not dictate and impose His thoughts and plans on us. He allows us to take the initiative and plan a route. Then He invites us to discuss our plans with Him so that we are kept from plotting a route that leads to death (cf. Jam 4:15; Acts 18:21). We do not know the path. We don’t have to if we know Him, that is, if we live in fellowship with Him Who knows the way.

Knowing Him means that we include Him in everything, always looking to Him, always having Him before our attention, thinking of Him as the One Who is always with us. We do this by consulting His Word in all our plans and letting it be our counselor (Psa 119:24). This includes walking by the Spirit (Gal 5:16).

It is about total dedication, all our heart and all our ways. If we trust in Him with our whole heart and know Him in all our ways, He promises to make our paths straight. He will lead us straight to the goal we have determined in consultation with Him. That goal is ultimately He Himself. The straight paths are contrasted with the winding paths that man goes without knowing Him in them. No man can make his own path straight (Jer 10:23).

It does not say that the paths are easy and straight in our eyes. From our perspective, it may be a winding and difficult path. But we may know that all the twists and turns in it are provided by the Lord as part of the process of His work in us. His goal is for us to walk a path that culminates in our conformity to Christ. For Him, and therefore also for us, that is the straight path.

This, like so many other proverbs in this book, is a general truth, not something that is always true without exception. For example, when we use the saying ‘an apple every day, keeps the doctor away’, it does not mean that we stay healthy if we eat an apple every day, but that an apple is healthy food. It is not a saying that guarantees that we will never get sick if we eat apples. Proverbs are pieces from life that show how life usually is, without saying that it is always and everywhere like that. In fact, there may be factors involved that delay immediate fulfillment. Those factors are not always known to us, but God knows them and uses them for His plan with our life.

Proverbs are not promises from God for here and now that we can stand on. If we think so, we draw wrong conclusions. Proverbs are statements of observations that will prove their truth over time.

Fear the LORD

The fourth advice is not to be wise in one’s own eyes (Pro 3:7; Isa 5:21; Rom 12:16). It is a warning against self-confidence. It follows the thoughts expressed in the previous verses, only from a different point of view. In the previous verses, God is seen and presented as the Source of wisdom and guidance. Now we are warned against a wisdom separate from God.

Our hearts are deceitful. We are able to use clever manipulation to make ourselves believe that we are making wise choices because we are so intelligent or have a certain character. It can be so, that we trust God and become proud to do so. The Lord Jesus condemned the Pharisees and rabbis of His day not because of their praying to God, but because the motives of their prayers were not good.

True wisdom is not denying our talents, but recognizing their source. We are wise in our own eyes if we prefer our own feelings or judgment to that of the Lord. It is acting in independence of Him, knowing better than Scripture. He who is wise will remember that he has no wisdom in himself, but that he gets his wisdom from God.

The higher source of wisdom is the fear of the LORD. That is the true wisdom. When that fear is there, the immediate logical consequence is to turn one’s back on evil. Fearing the LORD can never go hand in hand with doing evil, but brings to hating evil (Psa 97:10).

Listening to the counsel of Pro 3:7 is like a medicine, it has a beneficial or healthy effect (Pro 3:8; Pro 15:4; Ecc 10:4). A baby in the womb receives food through the “navel” [‘body’ is literally “navel”] and grows. The navel is also the center of the body and represents the whole body. The “bones” allow the body to function. If the advice of Pro 3:7 is followed, it has a refreshing effect on the bones. They gain new strength through it.

The word for navel appears only in Ezekiel 16 (Eze 16:4). There is no better example of our dependence on God than that of the fetus in the womb receiving its nourishment through the navel string. This happens as long as he is in the womb. As a result, the child grows until it is born. So what is said in Pro 3:7 is essential to the spiritual growth of the life from God that the believer possesses. Without fear of the LORD on the one hand and turning away from evil on the other, it is impossible to grow spiritually healthy.

Honor the LORD

The fifth advice concerns the son’s honoring the LORD with his wealth (Pro 3:9). It does not say that he should give something to the LORD, but that he should honor Him. Nor is it about something of his possession; it is about that he does it with his possession. So it refers to all his “wealth”, his entire capital, everything he has received by earning it or inheriting it. The “produce” is what he has obtained by working for it, the produce of labor.

Giving “from the first” of a harvest implies the acknowledgment that all the harvest is the LORD’s (Exo 23:19; Num 28:26-27; Deu 18:4; Deu 26:1-2). The son is told that in determining the first fruits, he must base his determination on “all” his produce. He must not forget anything or leave anything out of the calculation. God asks that we include everything in our assessment of what is His.

The ‘first’ refers particularly to Christ, the “first fruits of those who are asleep” (1Cor 15:20). He has fully given Himself for those who are His. If we bring the first fruits, God is reminded of Him. We understand a truth only if we have learned to see it in connection with Christ. This also makes the heart willing to respond to the desires of God.

Giving does not stand alone. Giving as such means nothing. Giving has value only if it is done to glorify God through it. We can give to feel good through it; we glorify ourselves through it. This is how the Pharisees gave. We can also give in order to be better off. Then we ‘invest’ in God, He becomes an ‘investment object’. However, it is not about us, but about Him. We received our possessions from Him in order to worship Him with them. Even of our earthly possessions, it is “from Him and through Him and to Him” (Rom 11:36).

We honor God if we give with joy for His work. We do so when we say to Him from our heart: ‘You are the Source of all that I have. Without You I could have earned nothing and had nothing to honor You with. By giving the first fruits, the best, of it to You, I acknowledge that everything is Yours’ (1Chr 29:14b). We show this by giving Him a portion of everything we receive first, even before we have used any of it for ourselves.

From honoring with the first, the son does not get poorer. On the contrary, he becomes richer because of it. He will be blessed with an abundance that fills barns and makes press barrels overflow (Pro 3:10; cf. Mal 3:10). This is what God promises when He is acknowledged in His rights over all things of life. Here certainly what was noted at the introduction to this chapter applies, that we must remember that these are promises that are sure to be fulfilled, but not always during life on earth. In any case, they will be fulfilled in the future.

We misapply this verse when we say that when we give money, we get back much more money than we gave. For example, some television preachers do misuse this verse. They urge their audience to give money with the promise that they will get back much more than they gave. They say: ‘Send me $100,00 for my service and I guarantee that God will bless your gift with a gift of $1000,00!’ Such an appeal is nothing but manipulation.

The point of this verse is also not for people to go and examine themselves to see if there are sins in their life that prevent the blessing if they give money for God’s work and are not blessed abundantly with money. Nor do they have to try again to see if it works then.

When giving is done from the right mind of heart, God gives more than we have given Him. This involves a blessing greater than that of money or earthly goods. We see this in Pro 3:13-18 of this chapter. If we give up everything to follow the Lord, it does not mean that we will then become rich in earthly goods. What we get in return is abundant fellowship with Him with the joy that comes with it. That transcends all earthly possessions. Earthly possessions we can lose. What we possess in Him, we can never lose. It can only become more, that is, the enjoyment of it. What we gain by giving is always much more than what we give (cf. Mk 10:28-30).

Discipline of the LORD

Pro 3:11-12 counterbalance Pro 3:9-10. Generally speaking, God blesses when we give Him what He asks of us. But that doesn’t mean He doesn’t reproof and discipline or punish us. It’s not opposite each other, but side by side. It shows the balance of God’s Word.

We see this with Job. It says of Job three times that he was blameless, upright and fearing God and that he turned away from evil (Job 1:1; 8; Job 2:3). Yet God takes everything away from him (Job 1:13-19; Job 2:4-8). As incomprehensible as such a thing may be to us, yet it is God’s love for Job that He acts this way with him. We must read the entire book to begin to understand something of this. This four-line poem from Pro 3:11-12 can serve well as a motto for the book of Job. Pro 3:11 describes the problem it addresses, and Pro 3:12 its solution.

Here the father again speaks to “my son”, indicating that he is speaking from the intimate relationship he has with him. He reminds him not to reject the admonition “of the LORD”. It is important to remember that the discipline comes from Him. The same goes for the reproof. It is His reproof. The motive for the discipline and reproof that God gives is that He “loves”. When God reproves, it is because He loves us. He sees what we still lack in dependence on Him or where dangers threaten that we become independent of Him. To make us aware of that, He reproves us.

The question is how we respond to God’s reproof. In Pro 3:11 the father warns his son not to reject the discipline or reproof of the LORD and not to loathe His reproof. The reason is written in Pro 3:12. There we read that His discipline and reproof are evidence of His love (cf. 2Sam 7:14). Such expressions of love take place in the father-son relationship (cf. Deu 8:5).

‘Rejecting the discipline’ means to despise it, that we act as if it means nothing. In that case we do not bow under the reproof, which causes that it misses its purpose. ‘To loathe the reproof’ means that we detest it because it is an unbearable burden and therefore we are unwilling to accept discipline. Then we succumb to discipline and also then it misses its purpose. These are two opposite responses. They both indicate that the purpose of discipline is not understood and therefore not accepted.

Pro 3:11-12 are quoted in the letter to the Hebrews (Heb 12:5-11). This proves that the proverbs have a wider application than just for the son of Solomon. In the letter mentioned, they are held out to the believing Hebrews whose faith was severely tested. The writer of that letter holds out these verses to them to remind them that tribulations are not accidental unpleasant circumstances, but show God’s interference with them. They had forgotten that and they needed to be reminded of that. It is often the same with us. It is also important for us that precisely when we are going through a difficult time, we are reminded that God is concerned with us.

The discipline and reproof come from a God Who deals with us “even as a father [corrects] the son in whom he delights”. This indicates the mind God has for us. He “delights” in us. He is not up to do us any evil, but only good. Satan has only evil in mind and seeks our destruction (1Pet 5:8). Wicked persons hate us and cast us out (Lk 6:22). But God brings suffering upon us because He loves us (Heb 12:6; Rev 3:19; cf. Pro 13:24). Because God disciplines in love, discipline or reproof will never harm us even though the pain is felt.

Discipline is the evidence of sonship. The purpose of God’s discipline is that “we may share His holiness” (Heb 12:10). Discipline is done in love, by a Father Who is well delights in us. In the son in whom He delights we see above all the love of the Father for His Son. There is a big difference, though, between Christ as the Son and us as sons. We need correction; He never needed it. He was always the good pleasure of the Father. He always did what was pleasing to Him. Therefore, the Father found His full joy in the life the Son lived. It answered His will perfectly. Therefore, with the Lord Jesus there was nothing to be disciplined or reproved (Mt 3:17; 1Pet 2:22; 2Cor 5:21; 1Jn 3:5).

The Value of Wisdom

To respond appropriately to the discipline spoken of in Pro 3:11-12 requires wisdom. Discipline or tribulation and wisdom are also linked by James (Jam 1:2-5). Knowing wisdom leads to happiness even when there are trials. The wisdom of the world does not give that happiness (Ecc 1:8). Wisdom as the way to happiness is discussed in the section of Pro 3:13-18. This section begins in Pro 3:13 with “blessed” and ends in Pro 3:18 with “happy”. Between both verses we find a series of causes that provide this happiness that all have to do with wisdom.

“Wisdom” must be found (Pro 3:13), not by chance, but by searching for it as for a treasure buried somewhere. Searching in this case means to heed instruction, for then you will become wise (Pro 8:33). It means listening to the Word of God in order to become wise.

“Understanding” must be obtained or acquired. This requires effort. It involves understanding how God directs life, especially when there are trials in life. That understanding is gained by looking to Christ in the Scriptures. In Him “all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden” (Col 2:3).

If anyone finds her (i.e. Christ), the proceeds are greater than what can ever be earned by trading silver (Pro 3:14). This is not about an unbeliever finding Christ, but about a believer discovering Him as the One Who leads his life with wisdom. Therefore, wisdom is most important and her “gain is better than fine gold” (Pro 8:11; Pro 20:15; Pro 31:10).

When the value of wisdom is compared to the value of silver or gold, it is apparent that wisdom is invaluable. It yields so much more than owning the most precious metals. You realize this when you are seriously ill. You can own all the silver and gold in the world, but you cannot pay for your health with it. But what peace you can get in your heart when you realize that God’s wisdom is behind the illness.

Wisdom “is more precious than jewels” (Pro 3:15). Even the preciousness of the most expensive gems vanishes into insignificance when compared to wisdom. One can wish for all kinds of things, but apart from wisdom, a fulfillment of those wishes gives only a temporary and limited sense of happiness. Solomon, when he was allowed to make his wishes known to God at the beginning of his reign, wished for the best by asking for wisdom. God answered this wish by giving him a wise heart (1Kgs 3:5-13).

Wisdom, Christ, is the source of a long and beneficial life (Pro 3:16). Wisdom, as it were, extends both hands to offer what she has. You may take it from both hands. In her right hand she has “long life”. He who chooses wisdom over the riches of the world chooses eternal life. In her left hand she has “riches and honor”. He who chooses wisdom over the most precious, but perishable, possessions on earth chooses imperishable spiritual riches and honor. This is what Christ offers and gives to everyone who belongs to Him.

Not only what she holds in her hands is of the greatest value and so very different from what the world offers. Her ways and paths are also so very different from the ways and paths of the world (Pro 3:17). Her ways are characterized by “pleasantness”. And “all her ways”, not one excepted, “are peace”. Do we not recognize in this the ways and paths of the Lord Jesus on earth? If we find wisdom, we will be able to imitate Him in these ways and paths. What a testimony that will be!

Wisdom is also “a tree of life to those who take hold of her” (Pro 3:18; Gen 2:9; Gen 3:24; Pro 11:30; Pro 13:12; Pro 15:4; Rev 2:7; Rev 22:2; 14). In the phrase “take hold of” lies strength. One who takes firm hold of that tree demonstrates the power of faith (cf. Heb 6:18). Taking hold of the tree means that there is faith that the tree gives life. And it cannot stop there, for taking hold of her must be followed by “holding her fast” (cf. Song 3:4). Those who once have life must nourish that life. Wisdom gives what is needed for everyday life.

We find both of these aspects in what the Lord Jesus says about eating His flesh and drinking His blood in John 6. To receive life a person must eat His flesh and drink His blood, that is believing in His death, that His death was necessary to give him eternal life (Jn 6:53). After that, it is constantly necessary to eat His flesh and drink His blood because life is in Him. That means we engage with Him every day by reading His Word, that is eating of Him spiritually. Then we continue in what we have learned (2Tim 3:14).

The way to the tree of life is the way back to the point where human history went wrong. The way to the tree of life was closed by sin. Adam and Eve chose the wrong tree to eat from. We have the choice to eat from the right tree again by choosing wisdom. That that tree is “the tree of life” means that it gives continual vitality and full, eternal life (cf. Gen 3:22-24). That is the portion for everyone who thus takes hold of wisdom and holds on to her.

Wisdom is knowing God in Christ. Christ is the tree of life. By holding Him fast we receive eternal life. That is more than we lost in Adam. The cross of Christ has become the tree of life for us. The cross of Christ is the foolishness of God that is wiser than men (1Cor 1:25). He who believes this is “happy”, for he has eternal life.

Wisdom at and in Creation

The wisdom that guides life (Pro 3:18), is the same wisdom that created the universe (Pro 3:19; Psa 104:24; Jer 10:12). We see here that the LORD – that is the Lord Jesus, for He is the Creator (Jn 1:1-3; Col 1:16; Heb 1:2) – Himself used wisdom in establishing creation. From Genesis 1 we know that God created the heavens and the earth in six days by establishing something on each of those six days through His Word (Exo 20:11). It takes wisdom to recognize the work of wisdom.

Creation is not a process, but an act of creation. We see that here, where it says that God as the great Architect “founded” the earth by “wisdom” and “established” the heavens by “understanding”. It is described here as if it were a building. He has founded the earth in the universe and established the heavens above it as a canopy with a magnificent decoration of sun, moon and stars.

With “His knowledge”, the knowledge that is His own, He made the deep waters make their way on earth (Pro 3:20). Through them, people, beasts and plants can live and be refreshed. To this end also serve the waters in the air, which He gives as dew on the earth wherever needed. Only God has the knowledge to establish and manage such a system of watering.

Wisdom Gives Rest

In this section (Pro 3:21-26) we hear the exhortation to remain in the way of wisdom, along with the promises that are ours if we listen to the exhortation. But then we must also not lose sight of wisdom for a moment (Pro 3:21).

There is a connection between Pro 3:21 and Pro 3:19-20. After displaying God’s wisdom in creation, the son is reminded not to let that wisdom vanish from his sight. The wisdom God exhibits in creation is the wisdom needed to live our life to the glory of God. We not only admire wisdom, but have received it (1Cor 2:6-7). The Lord Jesus is the wisdom of God in every way. He is our life and in Him we have received that wisdom.

He may not vanish from our sight. We must keep a constant eye on Him. Then we will keep “wisdom and discretion” in mind. We will always be mindful of what comes our way. When fellow students or colleagues or a brother or sister ask us to participate in something, or go somewhere, we will be guided by wisdom and discretion. We will look to the Lord Jesus, how He would respond to that question.

If our eye is constantly fixed on Him and we see how He has kept sound wisdom and discretion, that will mean “life” for our “soul” (Pro 3:22). True life is the life of Christ that is our portion. It is then seen in our practice. To Paul it was so. He could say that life for him was Christ; he lived only for Him (Phil 1:21).

Such a life is “an ornament to your neck”, the father says to his son and to us (cf. Pro 1:9; Pro 3:3). Wisdom and discretion are true “ornaments”. We also sometimes say to someone that a certain trait or deed ‘adorns’ him or her. It ‘adorns’ someone if, for example, he helps another or is faithful in his studies or in his work. To these things he is brought by wisdom and discretion.

Life is presented in the following verses (Pro 3:23-26) as a journey, as a path to be walked. We are all walking a path we have never walked before, of which we do not know how it goes. In doing so, we are guided not by our knowledge of the future, for we do not have it, but by Him to Whom the future belongs. He is powerful to keep us from stumbling and to make us “stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy” (Jude 1:24). This is the life insurance we need, the terms of which are found in Pro 3:21-22.

If we do not lose sight of wisdom and discretion, but always keep in mind, we will “walk securely” in our way and will “not stumble our foot” which could make us to fall (Pro 3:23). We then walk with God. As He shows us the way, He will also protect us on our way. If we go our way in trusting Him in this way, His peace will be in us (Phil 4:7) and His protective power will be around us (1Pet 1:5).

That is what the Lord Jesus demonstrated. He walked with God and went His way unconcerned and was kept from stubbing His foot. He was tempted by satan to challenge God to make true the truth of this word that He would not stumble His foot (Mt 4:5-7). Because He was guided by wisdom and discretion, He knew how to resist Satan. Therefore, He did not stumble His foot nor did He fall.

Wisdom and discretion not only keep us by day, but also by night (Pro 3:24). They watch over us not only when we are on the way, but also when we sleep (Psa 121:4). He who walks with his God can sleep peacefully no matter how stormy things may be in his life. That is why the Lord Jesus slept in a storm (Mt 8:24). We see that Peter too, in imitation of the Lord, was not anxious when he was in prison and had to fear for his life. He was lying down, chained to two soldiers, and had a pleasant sleep (Acts 12:6; cf. Lev 26:6; Psa 4:8; Psa 23:2).

That wisdom and discretion give peace and safety does not mean that nothing can happen in our life that turns our life completely upside down. Job experienced this and we know of examples from our own life or from our surroundings. The Lord does not guarantee us that no evil will strike us. He does guarantee that He is there. Here the father tells his son not to fear what might happen (Pro 3:25; cf. Psa 112:7).

There is a saying: ‘A man often suffers most by the suffering he fears and never shows up.’ For those for whom that applies have more to bear than God gives to bear. Fear or dread of what might happen paralyzes us in our life of faith. People in the world are afraid of everything that is happening and may happen, both in their own life and in the world. We know from God’s Word that a lot is indeed going to happen in the world. If we take that seriously, we will also take seriously the reassurance of the Lord Jesus when He says not to let announced events upset us (Mt 24:6).

The believer lives in the midst of “the wicked”, who are always out to destroy those who want to live faithfully according to God’s Word. The fear of them is more real than of anything indeterminate, for “also all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2Tim 3:12). But listen to what the Lord Jesus says: “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Mt 10:28).

The father tells his son how he can be free from thoughts of “sudden fear” or “onslaught” that might befall him. He points him to the LORD as his “confidence” (Pro 3:26). When he looks to Him, he rises above the threats of fearful possible events of which life is full. There is no more powerful means of delivering us from fears and keeping us free from them than having Christ as our confidence before us. Hope is not uncertainty, but absolute certainty. If the Lord Jesus is our confidence, it means that He is our unwavering support and refuge.

If we put our confidence, our expectation, on Him, He will “keep our foot from being caught”. We will then not walk into one of the many snares of sin that are stretched all around us by satan to catch our foot causing us to stumble. Sin can easily entangle us if we do not constantly keep our eye on the Lord Jesus (Heb 12:1-2; cf. 2Tim 2:26). The Lord is our example in this too. When He was on earth, He constantly looked to His God. As a result, He never put His foot in a place where a snare was hidden (Psa 16:8).

Do Not Harm Your Neighbor

Wisdom matters for our relationship with God. The father taught his son – and us – about that in the previous verses. But that is not the only thing. Wisdom is also important for our relationship with our neighbor. That is what the father speaks to his son about in the verses we now have before us. In it, he warns his son not to be selfish, self-centered. Relationships can be abused that way.

We must learn that the neighbor is not there for us, but that we are there for the neighbor. We see this in the story the Lord Jesus tells about the Good Samaritan (Lk 10:30-37). The lesson is not that I should learn who my neighbor is, what I can benefit from him, but how I can be the neighbor of the other, what I can do for the other.

Pro 3:27-30 all begin with the advice not to do something. That the father gives his son this advice means that he considers his son capable of doing what he advises him not to do. This is an important lesson for parents. There are parents who cannot hear any bad things about their children. They react with surprise, not to say indignation, if it is presumed that their child has done something wrong. ‘My child does no such thing’, is then often the dismissive response. It proves a great lack of self-knowledge and an unhealthy view of their ‘sweetheart’. Solomon is not talking so naively or haughtily about his son here.

Pro 3:27-28 deal with the relationship to the neighbor and then specifically that he should be given what is due to him. However, it is presented in a negative way by the father. He does not command his son to do something, but tells him not to do something. His son must not withhold the good from those who are entitled to it, while he has the means to give it (Pro 3:27). It is about the rights of one’s neighbor and not about showing charity.

We can think in application of paying taxes fairly, because that is what the government is entitled to (Rom 13:7). Similarly, to pay a debt incurred through a loan or purchase is to give the other person what he is entitled to. In a more general sense, the father calls upon his son to do good to his neighbor with the opportunities available to him. We are not owners of our goods, but stewards. “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin” (Jam 4:17).

We can also apply the doing of good, or more so the withholding of good to those who have a right to it, to the gospel and the truth of God. The people around us have the right that we proclaim the gospel to them. How will they hear about it if we don’t tell them? We owe it to them because they are in danger of perishing forever. The same goes for teaching the truth. Fellow believers have the right that we serve them with God’s Word (Pro 11:26a). If we have become followers of the good, or better of the One Who is good, we have the duty to tell about Him.

Perhaps the son does not want to withhold good from someone, but puts it off until “tomorrow” (Pro 3:28). The father recognizes that danger and warns him not to do that either. “Tomorrow” is an expression that indicates that something is indefinitely postponed; it is pushed forward to “tomorrow” every subsequent day. For example, “the wages of a hired man are not to remain with you all night until morning” (Lev 19:13b; Deu 24:15). It is not a matter of charity, but of paying a debt. Failure to do so is evil in the eyes of God (Jam 5:4).

The commandment not to withhold good from one’s neighbor is followed by the commandment not to devise harm against one’s neighbor (Pro 3:29). To devise harm means to devise evil, to make preparations. To devise harm against one’s neighbor, to make preparations to do him harm, is a crime. It is even worse if it is done while the neighbor thinks he has nothing to fear from you, that he feels safe with you. It is a gross abuse of trust. It is the crime that Judas committed against the Lord Jesus (Psa 41:10; Jn 13:18). If we have been treated this way by someone, we may know that the Lord Jesus can sympathize with us in this (Heb 4:15).

The father does not consider his son too good for committing this evil. Nor should we consider ourselves too good for it. It is possible for us to abuse someone who trusts us, who lives with us, someone who experiences us daily, for something that benefits us.

There is danger not only of secretly devising harm, but also of openly accusing someone, and doing so without reason, without the other person having done you harm (Pro 3:30). The father also warns his son against that form of harm. Here it is about manifesting a quarrelsome spirit. It can also refer to bringing a suit in court. And all that without any cause. Someone is simply out to harm someone else. The harm can be mental, physical, financial, or even sexual.

In this, again, the Lord Jesus is the Example. He has been indicted for no reason, for He never harmed anyone. On the contrary, He has always done only good. He did not defend Himself against it, He did not seek His own right, but He kept entrusting Himself to “Him who judges righteously” (1Pet 2:21-23).

Do Not Envy the Wicked

The next evil the father warns his son about is to “envy a man of violence” (Pro 3:31; cf. Psa 73:3-5). The man of violence is the man who is violent, who makes an unlawful use of power. In Proverbs 1, the man of violence approaches the son. Here the son sees all that the man of violence can afford, for example, buying expensive things and the easy life he seems to lead. The man of violence exerts influence on others, both his friends and people who see him, such as the son. Then it is important not to come under his influence. The father tells his son to “not envy” that man and not to choose “any of his ways”.

To underscore this prohibition, the father presents his son with the consequences of following this man in his way of life and the consequences if he stays far away from it. This is done in the form of contrasts. The son should not envy the man of violence, “for such a man is an abomination to the LORD” (Pro 3:32). He must realize this well if he is attracted by that man’s life and wants to live that way too.

An abomination, something disgusting, should be kept as far away from you as possible. Opposite is being as close to the LORD as possible. That is the part of the upright with whom He is “intimate” (Psa 25:14). The intimate dealings are evident in the communications He makes. For example, He dealt intimately with Abraham and made known to him what He was going to do (Gen 18:17-19). He also deals intimately with His servants, the prophets (Amos 3:7).

In Pro 3:33-35 we see, on the one hand, the portion of the righteous (Pro 3:33b), the afflicted (Pro 3:34b) and the wise (Pro 3:35a) and, on the other hand, that of the wicked (Pro 3:33a), the scoffers (Pro 3:34a) and the fools (Pro 3:35b). The wicked do not care about God, the scoffers despise God, the fools reject God. The latter should not be envied, for they are under the curse (Pro 3:33a), the scoff (Pro 3:34a) and the dishonor (Pro 3:35b). The upright, with whom God is intimate, receive blessing (Pro 3:33b), grace (Pro 3:34b) and honor (Pro 3:35a).

Whoever deviates from the LORD (Pro 3:32) proves to be “wicked” (Pro 3:33). On such a person’s house is “the curse of the LORD” (Mal 2:2). We see here that deviation has consequences not only for ourselves, but also for all who belong to our house. The reverse is true for the upright. Their house is blessed by the LORD (2Sam 6:11). As a result of the attitude of the principal dweller, the children of the wicked suffer and those of the upright rejoice. We are channels of blessing or of curse for our family.

The curse that rests on the house of the wicked is not so much the deprivation of all kinds of things that make life pleasant. Nor is the blessing so much the possession of everything the heart desires. The central point of the curse is in a constant restlessness of conscience, a constant sense of insecurity, with the end result that the house will collapse. The central point of blessing is in the constant awareness that God is with us, in the rest and peace of the heart that is assured of the grace and goodness of God. That house will stand firm.

Scoffers will face the scoffing of God (Pro 3:34). Scoffers are people for whom nothing is holy. They scoff at God and His truth, laughing at Him and ridiculing His truth (2Pet 3:3-4). The sacrifice of Christ they dishonor. They exalt themselves and despise and demean others and especially God and His Christ. Such people sin in an abominable way. There will come a time when the roles will be reversed. Then He will scoff at them and humiliate them (Psa 2:4; Psa 59:8).

Opposed to the scoffers are the “the afflicted” or “the meek”. They are the humble ones; they have humbled themselves and taken their proper place before God. They acknowledge Him in everything He says about them, whether in judgment or in blessing. With them He does not scoff, but to them He gives grace. That gives them the strength to remain meek under the scoffers’ mockery and to not resist.

Meekness is a characteristic of the Lord Jesus that characterized Him in His life on earth. He gives that characteristic to all who take on His yoke of obedience and want to learn from Him (Mt 11:29). They have humbled themselves under the powerful hand of God (Jam 4:6; 1Pet 5:5), while sinners will be forced to humble themselves when Christ comes to reign.

When Christ comes, the wise will receive honor (Pro 3:35). The wise are the same persons as the righteous and afflicted or meek of the previous verses. This indicates that these are not the wise of the world, but those who are in God’s sight. The honor they receive is not temporary and not that of the world, but an everlasting honor given by God. That honor is that they will share in the reign of the Lord Jesus.

Fools, on the contrary, get nothing but what they themselves have done. They “display dishonor”. They have never cared about God’s commandments and even mocked Him. As a result, they have gained the laughs and received the honor of people who are just like them. At the same time, they have placed themselves outside of blessing and under disgrace and that forever. Their folly will be visible to all; they will be “to disgrace and everlasting contempt” (Dan 12:2).