The Duty Which Children Owe Their Parents
R. S. Candlish, D. D. Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you; that your days may be prolonged… The duty which children owe to their parents arises so naturally out of the relation between them that the Lord Himself makes His appeal on this very ground, in pleading His own cause with His people and His own rights over them. "A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is Mine honour? and if I be a master, where is My fear? saith the Lord of hosts" (Malachi 1:6). A son honoureth his father. It is natural, it is right and fitting that he should do so. I. THE MOTIVE OF THIS DUTY MUST BE A REGARD TO THE WILL OF GOD (Ephesians 6:1). "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord" (Colossians 3:20). Honour, then, and obey your parents in the Lord, from a desire to please Him, and a regard to His commandments. 1. These directions show on what foundation a parent should study to have his authority placed: the sure foundation of the authority of God. It is a delegated authority. As such from the very first he should use it. As such he should seek as much as possible to have it from the very first recognised. Let the child very soon learn that it is God who has committed him to your care and subjected him to your control; and as he grows to maturity, be you content to have not the first, but the second place in his respect and love. It may be very gratifying to your parental pride to see how much he will do, and how much he will sacrifice, for the sake of pleasing you. But it is far more important to perceive that he does all and sacrifices all in obedience to you, for the sake of pleasing, not you, but that God who has commanded him to honour you. 2. It is on the commandment of God, then, that this duty of honouring father and mother must rest. Do not trust your discharge of this duty to natural affection, or natural conscience, or reason, or gratitude, or honour. Alas! these are all frail supports of any human virtue. You may think that you are treating your parents with all the reverence which the highest notions of the parental character could require. But you do not honour them at all in any real religious spirit, except in so far as you honour them for the sake of that great God who first of all subdues you to Himself and then subjects you to them. 3. It may be remarked that the view now given of the duty which children owe to their parents is altogether independent of the character and qualifications of parents and the opinion which children may have of them. (1) Are your parents unfit for their high charge, or, in your estimation, unworthy of it? Have they failed to secure your confidence, our esteem, your love? Still you will feel that deference is due to them "in the Lord." You will be willing, on His account, to honour them, "bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things," if by any means, for your sakes, they may be themselves brought to honour Him for whose sake you so dutifully honour them. (2) Are your parents such as your hearts could wish? Are they like-minded with yourselves — possessors of the same grace? Blessed is your lot, believing children of believing parents. Yours is an easy task, to honour a father — a mother — so truly honourable. Still, forget not the special commandment of God. It is not enough that you honour them as all Christians honour one another, as high in rank, made kings and priests to God. You must further honour them simply as parents. II. THE EXTENT OF THE DUTY WHICH AS CHILDREN YOU OWE TO YOUR PARENTS may be gathered partly from a review of some of the particular precepts and instances in Holy Scripture on this subject, and partly from the application of the general principle of this direction, "Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee." 1. On the subject of filial duty the Word of God is very full and explicit in its precepts and examples. Thus — (1) Respect, reverence in heart, speech, and behaviour, is strongly enjoined (Leviticus 19:3; Deuteronomy 27:16; Proverbs 28:24). (2) Obedience also is enjoined — obedience both active and passive. You are to do the will of your parents. You are to submit to their chastisements (Proverbs 1:8; Proverbs 3:1). 2. The general principle of this direction confirms the view of its extent which these particular precepts and instances give. "Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee." The ground or reason of this duty is the commandment of God. The duty therefore must be as extensive as the commandment, which is altogether unlimited. No exception is allowed; no room left for any reservation. (R. S. Candlish, D. D.) Parallel Verses KJV: Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. WEB: "Honor your father and your mother, as Yahweh your God commanded you; that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you, in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.