Truth in Love
A. K. H. Boyd, D. D. Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: Everyone here knows how much depends on the way in which a thing is done. You may do a substantially kind thing in such an ungracious manner, that the person to whom you do it will rather feel irritated, and wounded, and sorry that he needs to take any favour from you, than grateful and obliged to you. And, unhappily, there are in this world some really good and Christian people, who are so unsympathetic; so devoid of the power of entering into the feelings of others, and so regardless of the feelings of others, that when they do a kindness to anybody, and especially to a poor person, they do it in much the way in which you would throw a bone to a hungry dog. You will sometimes find a real desire to do good, alloyed with so much fussiness, so much self-sufficiency, and such a tendency to faultfinding, that so far from good being done, a great deal of mischief follows. Then, on the other side, you may have known men and women who had so much Christian wisdom, and such a gift of sympathy and tact, that even in doing a severe thing — even in finding serious fault, or declining to grant some request — they were able to make a friend for life of the person they were obliged to reprove or deny. Now, there are many ways in which a man may "speak the truth." You may speak the truth with the view of insinuating falsehood. It was so, when the Pharisees said of our Blessed Lord, "This man receiveth sinners." Then you may speak the truth in envy. It was so, when the Pharisees saw Christ going as a friend into the house of the publican Zaccheus; they murmured, saying "That He was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner." It was quite true, what they said; but it was the truth spoken in envy that the poor outsider was to be brought within the fold. Then you may speak truth in pure malignity: from a desire to give pain, combined with certain coarseness of nature. It is commonly so with that class of persons who make a boast of speaking their mind, which usually consists in telling anybody something that he will not like to hear. Now, St. Paul tells us in the text how Christian people are to speak the truth. "In love." Truth, spoken in love, has incomparably greater force to do good — to direct people, to mend people — than truth spoken in severity, even though it be spoken with good intentions. If a minister, in preaching the gospel, assume a severe, harsh, overbearing manner, then, though what he speaks be God's truth, his chance of really doing good to those who hear him is greatly diminished. I daresay many now present are aware of the curious way in which my text was written by St. Paul himself in the language in which he wrote it. He put the things more forcibly than we have it in our Bibles; using an idiom which cannot be rendered well in our English tongue; at least in a single word. St. Paul referred to all conduct, as well as to speech. And he meant more than the mere cultivating of a truthful spirit. If we were literally, though awkwardly, to translate his words, they would be "truthing it in love"; that is, thinking, speaking, and doing the truth in love. Now let us think a little of our duty in regard to the first of the two things which are to be combined — truth and love. LET US THINK OF WHAT IS IMPLIED BY SPEAKING AND LIVING THE TRUTH. Of course some things here are very plain. Every little child knows what is meant by speaking the truth; and anything like trying to define that simple fact would only perplex it. Yet how truly it has been said by a very thoughtful writer, that "each man has to fight with his love of saying to himself and those around him pleasant things, and things serviceable for today, rather than the things which are." We come to difficult matters, thinking of the believer's duty of speaking the truth. At this point of our meditation, we come to the question, To what degree is a Christian man bound to speak the truth when it will be disagreeable, in the way of finding fault? Here is a matter for that Christian prudence we must ask from the Holy Spirit. We must avoid the extreme of cowardly appearing to acquiesce in wrong for fear of giving offence: and we must avoid the other extreme of needlessly blurting out whatever is in us, regardless of the pain this may cause. Disagreeable truths are seldom in actual life spoken in love. They are sometimes spoken to the very end of mortifying and wounding; and it is no justification of one who has spoken in that spirit, that all he said is quite true. There has been such a thing as a professing Christian of high pretension saying to a gay, thoughtless young person, "Your heart is hardened: your conscience is asleep: I'll pray for you:" saying all that (which was all quite true) in so malignant a tone, that it was as bad to bear as a blow or a stab. Ah, brethren, that is not the way to win souls to Christ and salvation! II. Thus we are led back to the second great characteristic, which is to be in the Christian's heart, speech, and life. THAT IS LOVE. And if love be the fulfilling of the Law: if faith, hope, and love be the three great Christian graces, but love the chiefest of all; we need not wonder that our truth is to be leavened with love, like everything else we do. Yes, let the two things always go together: Truth and Love. Truth, without love, will fail to do what God meant it for: and love without truth, would flatter the soul into a false peace, from which the waking would be in woe. Truth is the stern hard thing, like the bare branches of winter: Love is the softener and beautifier, like the green foliage on the summer tree. If you show that you love people, you may tell them truths that condemn them, and vet awaken no bitterness: you may show them how wrong they are, and only make them thankful to you for setting them right. Do you ask how we are to reach this love, that ought to leaven all our speaking, thinking, feeling, and being; how we are to cast out the poor enmities, jealousies, irritations, and self-conceits, that often make people speak the truth in anything but love, and hear the truth in anything but a loving spirit? The answer to that question is ready: and one plain inspired declaration is as good as twenty. Listen to St. Paul's words: "The love of God" (and that, you know, brings along with it love to man) "is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." (A. K. H. Boyd, D. D.) Parallel Verses KJV: But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: WEB: but speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ;