Parental Restraint
1 Samuel 3:13
For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knows; because his sons made themselves vile…


And he restrained them not. The parental relation was universally regarded in ancient times as one which involved a closer identity between parents and children, and a more absolute authority on the part of the former over the latter, than would now be deemed just. This fact explains many occurrences in the sacred history. It also makes more apparent the inexcusable conduct of Eli in omitting to restrain his sons from their evil way. To every head of a family, however, belongs a certain measure of authority, and he is responsible for its exercise in "commanding his children and his household" (Genesis 18:19) to do what is right, and restraining them from doing what is wrong. Concerning PARENTAL RESTRAINT, observe that -

I. ITS NEED IS URGENT.

1. Because of the strong tendency to evil which exists in children. However it may be accounted for or explained, there can be no doubt of the fact. If it be simply, as some say, a desire of self-gratification, and dislike of everything that hinders it - self-will, it is necessary that it should be checked; for those who are trained to deny themselves in very early life, and submit to the will of their parents, are far more likely than others to accept and submit to the will of God when they become conscious of it. "In order to form the minds of children, the first thing to be done is to conquer their will and bring them to an obedient temper. This is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education, without which both precept and example will be ineffectual. As self-will is the root of all sin and misery, so whatever cherishes this in children insures their after wretc.hedness and irreligion; whatever checks and mortifies it promotes their future happiness and piety" (The mother of the Wesleys).

2. Because of the evil examples by which they are surrounded, and which act so powerfully on their susceptibility to impression and their propensity to imitation.

3. Because of the manifold temptations to which they are exposed. However guarded, they cannot be altogether kept from their influence.

II. ITS OBLIGATION IS IMPERATIVE.

1. It is obviously a part of parental duty.

2. It is often enjoined in the word of God (Deuteronomy 21:15-21; Proverbs 19:18; Proverbs 23:13, 14; Proverbs 29:15, 17).

3. It is clearly adapted to accomplish beneficial results (Proverbs 22:6). It is thus a duty which parents owe not only to their children, but also to the great Parent of all, who, by the manner in which he deals with his earthly children, has himself set them an example.

II. ITS METHOD IS IMPORTANT. It should be -

1. Timely; commenced at an early age (Proverbs 13:24).

2. Firm and just.

3. With consideration, kindness, and patience (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21).

"O'er wayward childhood wouldst thou hold firm rule,
And sun thee in the light of happy faces,
Love, hope, and patience, these must be thy graces,
And in thine own heart let them first keep school
;

For as old Atlas on his broad neck places
Heaven's starry globe, and there sustains it; so
Do these bear up the little world below
Of education - patience, love, and hope"


(Coleridge)

IV. ITS OMISSION IS RUINOUS.

1. To children (1 Samuel 4:11).

2. To parents (1 Samuel 4:18).

3. To the nation (1 Samuel 4:22). Indulgent parents are cruel to themselves and their posterity (Hall). How numerous are the facts which justify these statements! "As in inviduals, so in nations, unbridled indulgence of the passions must produce, and does produce, frivolity, effeminacy, slavery to the appetite of the moment; a brutalised and reckless temper, before which prudence, energy, national feeling, any and every feeling which is not centred in self, perishes utterly. The old French noblesse gave a proof of this law which will last as a warning beacon to the end of time. The Spanish population of America, I am told, gives now a fearful proof of this same terrible penalty. Has not Italy proved it likewise for centuries past? It must be so. For national life is grounded on, is the development of, the life of the family. And where the root is corrupt the tree must be corrupt likewise" (Kingsley, 'The Roman and the Teuton,' Lect. 2). Therefore

(1) let parents exercise due restraint over their children; and

(2) let children submit to the restraint of their parents (Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3; Proverbs 30:17; Jeremiah 35:18, 19). - D.



Parallel Verses
KJV: For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

WEB: For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves, and he didn't restrain them.




Eli's Family Government
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