The Exercises of a Soul Seeking Pardon
Psalm 32:3-4
When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.…


These verses give us the experience of a soul convinced of sin, and aware of the value and blessedness of pardon, without as yet possessing the power to assume that pardon as its own.

I. THE INDIVIDUAL IS FIRST EXHIBITED TO US IN SILENT MEDITATION OR SELF-EXAMINATION.

1. This is a most necessary but painful duty (Psalm 4:4; 2 Corinthians 13:5; Psalm 77:6).

2. It has for its subject the nature and amount of sin. The rule by which that sin is measured is readily supplied by the Holy Spirit, from all the works and dispensations of God.

II. This self-examination was supposed to be carried on in silence; but the sentence closes with a seeming contradiction, saying that HIS BONES WAXED OLD WITH HIS CONTINUAL ROARING. The work of self-examination may go on in silence and in secrecy; men without hear nothing of the sorrow, see nothing of the distress and agony within — "The heart knoweth his own bitterness, and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy." But God looks upon the sorrow within; God beholds the workings of this troubled conscience, its throes of grief, and hears its moans.

III. CONSCIOUS IMPOTENCE ARRIVED AT LAST. "My bones waxed old," etc. Here it is not requisite to bring in the machinery of outward trial and experiment to convince the believer of his weakness; let him alone; let him lie there, while varied forms of evil pass over the thoroughfare of his memory or imagination, and while he detects the tendency of his affections to these forms, and battles hard, too, to turn it to good, and fails, the experiment is repeated, till he sinks under the shameful conviction, the sickening one, that he can do no good thing; hold his heart right, no, not one moment, with God; think no one good thought alone. And then he is in utter weakness cast on Divine compassion. And then impotent for ever? No, not for ever; impotent in self, but mighty through Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9).

IV. THE STUBBORNNESS OF THE NATURE DEALT WITH. "Day and night Thy hand was heavy upon me." Converted men, without a failure, may be passed or hurried on from trial to trial externally, in order to bring out and mature that faith which eventuates in holiness. Thus with Joseph; what a series, what a sea of calamities had he to wade through, after the treachery of his brethren; what repeated trials and temptations had he to encounter, without an instant's breathing time, till he is placed in full peace upon the government of Egypt. This was heavy work upon the soul. Not temptation, merely, but distresses likewise; these, under a Divine Providence, sift and humble the soul, fix and form the faith, ere they flee before the sunshine of spiritual prosperity.

V. THE SOUL NOW IN ITS DISTRESS MOURNS OVER DEPARTED PROSPERITY. "Moisture" — the word is figurative, but most significant. He was as a tree planted by the rivers of water, his fruit rich and ripe, his leaf fresh and verdant; all are now withered, and blasted, and scorched; what misery!

VI. CAN ALL THIS ESCAPE THE COGNIZANCE OF THE FALLEN BELIEVER? No; he must hear it, and see it, and heed it, and repent. Aye, repent, not perish. God is still gracious, and though this subsequent repentance may be doubly bitter, yet through it he shall pass once more to peace.

(C. M. Fleury, M. A.)



Parallel Verses
KJV: When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

WEB: When I kept silence, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.




The Danger of Unconfessed Sin
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