A Sermon to Young Wives
J. H. Hitchens, D. D. Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine… I. TAKE AN INTEREST IN ALL THAT CONCERNS YOUR HUSBAND. When he speaks, listen. When he is depressed try to cheer him. When he is exultant share in his rejoicing. When he is overwhelmed with work see if you can assist him; and certainly never, at such troubled and anxious times, increase his burden by any domestic disorder. Luther had such a wife. She entered into his enthusiasm. She read and prized his books. She surrounded him with the invigorating atmosphere of true love. She helped him in his labours. Lord William Russell had such a wife. She shared with him in all his efforts. Stood by his side in the time of his misfortune. Acted as his secretary when on his trial. Visited him in the Tower of London, and did her best to console him before he was beheaded. Then went back home to train her family to be worthy of the name of so courageous a father. Flaxman, the eminent sculptor, had such a wife. When he ventured on matrimony Sir Joshua Reynolds declared him to be a ruined man. But the future proved the opposite. For thirty-eight years his wife did her utmost to aid him in his calling. Her admiration of his work, and her devotion to his comfort, assisted to make him what Byron pronounced, "the best translator of Dante." Hood had such a wife. Though a woman of unusual cultivation and literary taste, yet she yielded gracefully to the whims and fancies of her husband. She good humouredly accepted his practical jokes, and became indispensable to his happiness. So much so that Hood could not endure her absence from home. Without her he was restless and impatient. Bishop Wilberforce had such a wife. She entered into his clerical duties and responsibilities. When, after thirteen years of unalloyed comfort, she died, the life of the bishop became tinged with sadness. Hence, referring to his wife, he once wrote, "It is most sad going home. If I went home to her it were beyond all words." The late Earl of Beaconsfield had such a wife. When, as Benjamin Disraeli, he published "Sybil," and dedicated it "to the most severe of critics — but a perfect wife," he let in a flood of light upon the character of the future countess. And nothing could be a stronger proof of her thorough devotion to her husband's interests, than that afforded by her conduct on one occasion when driving with him to the House of Commons. By accident her finger was crushed in closing the carriage door. Thinking that any cry of pain would disturb the mind of Benjamin, who was deep in the great speech he was that night to deliver, the faithful, sympathetic wife nobly endured the agony without a single word, till her husband was in his place in the House. II. LET IT BE MANIFEST THAT HOME HAS THE PRECEDENCE IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND AFFECTIONS. Hume tells us, in his history, that in the reign of Henry VIII a proclamation was issued forbidding women to meet together for babble and talk, and directing husbands to keep their wives in their houses. Such a proclamation gives us a sorry insight into the domestic life of our ancestors. Society has improved since then. Still, there are now not wanting very strong temptations to gadding about. Never were there more numerous or more attractive exhibitions on view, never were there more frequent or more important public meetings for benevolent and religious purposes, and never were there greater facilities for transition from spot to spot. And, alas! there are some young wives who seem to feel it incumbent on them to be present and assist at every gathering designed to promote some useful enterprise. The result is that home is often neglected, the children run riot, the domestics grow careless, and the husband returns, after a day's activities and annoyances, to find, what should be a quiet refuge from the world's turmoil, a deserted, disorderly, cheerless spot. I ask you to remember, young woman, that a wife's true orbit is home. In ancient Rome a high compliment was paid a queen by the epitaph, "She staid at home and spun." The ancient Greeks suggested the same feminine duty by carving Venus on a tortoise. In ancient Boeotia, when a bride was conveyed to her husband's house the wheels of the vehicle in which she travelled thither were burned at the doors, as an intimation that they would not be needed again. So today in Turkey, in India, in Spanish America, and elsewhere seclusion is the true sign of respectability. To be high bred is to be invisible. Whilst, in our own land, though women enjoy freedom to think, and act, and speak, and are denied no rights of real and enduring value, yet they are most trusted and loved by their husbands and families who are good keepers of home, who make their first and foremost study the temporal and spiritual welfare of those nearest at hand and dearest at heart. There is something quaint, however questionable, in the observation of a clergyman who ventured to preach upon the subject of women's sphere. He chose for his text "Where is thy wife? Behold, she is in the tent." He started his discourse by the remark: "There she ought to be, and the less she is heard outside the better." I would qualify that preacher's words and say: "By all means let her be heard and seen outside the tent if she have fully and faithfully discharged her duty inside the tent. But if to be seen and heard outside she must neglect her own household, then let her keep at home," III. DO YOUR UTMOST TO RETAIN THE CONFIDENCE AND AFFECTION OF YOUR HUSBAND. As you examine the magnificent monument in Hyde Park, erected in memory of the late Prince Consort, you observe that the only figure that is represented twice is that of the celebrated Michael Angelo. Among the painters he leans upon the chair of Raphael. Among architects and sculptors, he is the middle of a far-famed group. And justly is he thus honoured, for his genius was exceptionally great. But far above his fresco in the Sistine Chapel, far above his "Last Judgment," far above his cupola of St. Peter's, far above his "Sleeping Cupid," which Raphael pronounced worthy of Phidias or Praxiteles, stands the sonnet to his wife. Angelo profoundly loved and adored Vittoria Colonna. When she died he lingered by her corpse, and kissed affectionately the clay-cold hand; his only regret afterwards being that he had not kissed her cheeks. And why such deep and enduring affection? Because the wife elicited it, and by constant care retained it. She impressed him with the preciousness of virtue. She elevated his thought and inspired him to write: — "For oh! how good, how beautiful, must be The God that made so good a thing as thee."Macaulay describes the painful scene at the death of Mary, wife of William of Orange. The king's agony was intense. Amid scalding tears he testified to the excellency of the departed Queen, saying to Bishop Burnet, "I was the happiest man on earth, and I am the most miserable. She had no fault — none; you knew her well but you could not know, nobody but myself could know, her goodness." Not unworthy of notice is the homely advice given by an old lady to her newly-married daughter, "Never worry your husband. A man is like an egg, kept in hot water a little while he may boil soft, but keep him there too long and he hardens." IV. BE GOVERNED IN ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BY TRUE RELIGION. Let the sound, safe, significant principles of godliness guide you. Let the love of Christ constrain you in all your household and family engagements. Do what you are called to do heartily as unto the Lord. Remember that there is One greater, better, wiser, and more loving and loveable than your earthly husband — One who claims and deserves all the affection of your heart, all the homage of your mind, all the service of your life. "Thy Maker is thy husband." The Lord Jesus is the bridegroom of your soul. As a wife renounces old familiar scenes, customary engagements, and long-known associates for her husband, so you are asked to be ready to renounce all for Jesus. As a wife surrenders all her time, influence, and possessions to her husband, so you are asked to make a voluntary and joyful surrender of yourself and all your belongings to Christ. As a wife consents to share with her husband in all vicissitudes, in adversity as well as prosperity, so you are asked to follow the Lord whithersoever He may lead, through evil and through good report, counting it an honour to be partaker of His sufferings. As a good wife cultivates love for her husband so that every day augments the volume of her affection, so you are asked to foster and evince love for Christ. We have read in history how, when Edward I was wounded by a poisoned dagger, his wife Eleanor, from the deep love she bare her husband, sucked the poisoned wound, and so ventured her own life to save his. Such love you are asked to cultivate for Christ. If He be wounded by the poisonous tongues of the ungodly, by reproaches, blasphemies, and persecutions, do you learn to say, "Let the reproach of Christ fall upon me" — "Let me suffer rather than Jesus and His truth!" (J. H. Hitchens, D. D.) Parallel Verses KJV: The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; WEB: and that older women likewise be reverent in behavior, not slanderers nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good;