The Christian Family
A. Maclaren, D. D. Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 1. In the family, Christianity has signally displayed its power of refining, ennobling and sanctifying earthly relationships. Domestic life as seen in Christian homes is a purely Christian creation, and would have been a new revelation at Colossae as it is in many a mission field to-day. 2. Domestic happiness and family Christianity are made up of very homely elements. One duty is prescribed here for one member of each of the three family groups, and varying forms of another for the other. The wife, child, servant, are to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness, the master to yield his servants their dues. Like some perfume distilled from common flowers which grow on every bank, the domestic piety which makes home a house of God and a gate of heaven, is prepared from these two simples — obedience and love. I. THE RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS. 1. The Christian ideal of the wife's duty has for its centre subjection. (1) Some will smile at that as a survival of a barbarous theory of marriage; but turn to Ephesians 5:22-33, and you will find that marriage is regarded from a high and sacred point of view. To Paul all earthly relationships were moulded after patterns of things in the heavens. What the Church's subjection to Christ is, such is the wife's to the husband, a subjection of which love is the very soul. As in the loving obedience of the believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Thus everything harsh and degrading disappears. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction a woman's heart needs to look up, and to serve where it loves. In this nobler, purer, more unselfish love, as much as in physicial constitution, is laid the foundation of the Divine ideal of marriage. (2) The subjection is limited by "We must obey God rather than man," and there are cases in which on the principle of "Tools to those who can use them," the rule falls to the wife as the stronger character. Popular sarcasm, however, shows this to be contrary to the true ideal. And then woman's intellectual and moral qualities render it wise for a man to take her counsel. But all such considerations are consistent with apostolic teaching. 2. What of the husband's duty? He is to love. (1) Because he loves he is not to be harsh. He is to be as patient and self-sacrificing as Christ, that he may bless and help. That solemn example lifts the whole emotion and carries the lesson that man's love is to evoke the woman's subjection, just as in the heavenly pattern Christ's love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience which is liberty. (2) Where there is such love there will be no tenacious adherence to rights. Love uttering a wish speaks music to love listening, and love obeying the wish is free and a queen. 3. The young are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole lives may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections. If a man and woman love and marry in the Lord, He will be in the midst, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken. II. THE RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF CHILDREN AND PARENTS — Obedience and gentle authority. 1. The injunction to children is laconic and universal. (1) The only limitation is when God's command is contradicted. (2) The enforcement is that it is "well pleasing in the Lord." To all who can appreciate the beauty of goodness is filial obedience beautiful. In Ephesians it is regarded as "right" appealing to the natural conscience. (3) The idea of a father's power and a child's obedience has been much softened by Christianity, but rather from the greater prominence given to love, than from the limitation given to obedience. There is now great laxity in reaction from the tee great severity of past times. Many causes lead to this. Children are better educated than their parents, and a sense of inferiority often makes a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness makes him hesitate to forbid. But it is unkind to place on young shoulders "the weight of too much liberty." Consult your children less, command them more. (4) And as to children, here is the one thing God would have you do, and which is moreover pleasing to those whose approbation is worth having, and will save many a sting of conscience now which may tingle again when all too late. Remember Dr. Johnson standing bareheaded in Lichfield market-place, in remorseful remembrance of boyish disobedience. 2. The law for parents is addressed to fathers, partly because mothers have less need of it and partly because fathers are the head of the household. (1).How do parents provoke their children? By unreasonable commands, by capricious jerks at the bridle alternating with capricious dropping of the reins altogether, ungovernable tempers, frequent rebukes and sparing praise. And what follows? "Wrath," as Ephesians has it, and then apathy. "I cannot please, whatever I do," leads to a rankling sense of unjustice and then to recklessness, "it is useless to try." Paul's theory of the training of children is connected with his central doctrine, that love is the life of service, and faith the parent of righteousness. When a child loves and trusts, he will obey. Children's obedience must be fed on love and praise. (2) So parents are to let the sunshine of their smile ripen their children's love to fruit of obedience, and remember that frost in spring scatters the blossoms on the grass. Many a father drives his child into evil by keeping him at a distance. He should make his boy a companion and a playmate, and try to keep him nearer to himself than to any one else; then his opinions will be an oracle, and his lightest wish a law. (3) Parents would do well, too, to remember Ephesians 6:4, and Deuteronomy 6:6-7, and not relegate religious instruction to others. Children drift away from a faith which their parents do not care enough about to teach. III. THE RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF MASTERS AND SERVANTS. Obedience and justice. 1. These servants are slaves. Paul recognized that "sum of all villainies," but his gospel had principles which cut up slavery by the roots. Christ and His apostles did not war against it nor against any existing institutions — "First make the tree good," etc. Mould men, and the men will mould institutions. And so slavery has died in all Christian lands now. But the principles laid down here are applicable to all forms of service. 2. Note the extent of the servant's obedience. (1) "In all things," the limit again being God's command, but inward completeness is insisted on, "not with eye service," etc. We have a proverb about the worth of the master's eye, which bears witness that the same fault clings to hired service, and thus darkens into theft. All scamped work, all productions which are got up to look better than they are, all fussy parade of diligence when under inspection and slackness afterwards are transfixed here, "But in singleness of heart," etc., with undivided motive, which is the antithesis and cure for eye service — and fearing God, which is opposed to pleasing men. (2) Then follows the positive injunction, lifting obedience to an earthly master into a religious duty, and transfiguring the slave's lot. This evokes new powers, and renewed consecration. (3) The stimulus of a great hope is added. Whatever their earthly masters failed to give them, if they are Christ's they will be treated as sons and receive the son's portion. Christ remains in no man's debt. (4) The last word is a warning against neglect of duty. The wrongdoer will receive retribution, but it does not warrant an inferior's breach of moral law. Two blacks do not make a white — a lesson to oppressed peoples and their champions. 3. Masters are bidden to give their slaves what is equitable. A start ling injunction respecting those who were chattels and not persons. (1) The apostle does not define what is just and equal. The main thing was to drive home the conviction that there are duties owing to slaves and employes. We are far from: a satisfactory discharge of these yet, but everybody admits the principle — and we have mainly to thank Christianity for that. Paul does not say, "Give them what is kind and patronizing." Charity likes to come in and supplies wants which would never have been felt had there been equity. (2) The duty of masters is enforced by the fact that they have a Master who is to be their pattern. Give your servants what you expect and need to get from Christ. (A. Maclaren, D. D.) Parallel Verses KJV: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. WEB: Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.