A shifting definition, a sure foundation

Culture often recasts love as uncritical affirmation and labels disagreement as harm. Scripture warns of days when people would “call evil good and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20). We should not be surprised when society’s definitions slide.

God’s Word does not wobble. “God is love” (1 John 4:8), and only God defines love. Jesus frees us from confusion and bondage by His Word, for “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Real love is anchored, not adrift.

Love that obeys, not merely approves

Love is not sentimental indulgence. Love does what God says. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15). “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3). “And this is love: that we walk according to His commandments” (2 John 1:6).

This means love rejects evil and clings to good (Romans 12:9). It does not celebrate lies, sin, or self-rule. It delights in holiness because it delights in God.

- Love chooses obedience over approval-seeking.

- Love confronts sin with tears and truth (Galatians 6:1).

- Love pursues reconciliation, repentance, and restoration (Matthew 18:15–17).

- Love safeguards the vulnerable and upholds justice (Micah 6:8; James 1:27).

Truth and tenderness belong together

Jesus came “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). We cannot have one without the other. To separate them is to misrepresent Christ.

Love speaks clearly without cruelty, courageously without contempt. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season” (2 Timothy 4:2). Grace and truth travel as one.

- Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

- Name sin, and name the Savior more loudly (Romans 3:23–26).

- Refuse slander; practice gentleness under pressure (1 Peter 3:15–16).

Formed by Scripture, not by sentiment

Our hearts are shaped by our sources. All Scripture is “God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). We do not test Scripture by feelings; we test feelings by Scripture.

We are not conformed to this age but transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). In a climate of slogans and outrage, steady, daily intake of God’s Word produces durable love.

- Read, meditate, and memorize the Word (Psalm 1).

- Teach it diligently at home (Deuteronomy 6:6–7: “teach them diligently to your children”).

- Weigh every message like Bereans (Acts 17:11).

- Submit to a local church that practices the Word (Hebrews 13:17).

What love looks like in contested spaces

God defines the contours of love for our embodied lives. He created humanity “male and female” (Genesis 1:27). Marriage is a covenant union of one man and one woman, and “the two will become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5). “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4).

Disciples do not flinch from what God says about sexuality, marriage, and life (Romans 1:24–32; Psalm 139:13–16). We also do not forget that we were rescued by grace. “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified…” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

- Center conversations on Christ crucified and risen (1 Corinthians 15:3–4).

- Call all people everywhere to repent and believe (Acts 17:30; Mark 1:15).

- Offer hope of cleansing, not condemnation without a path of mercy (John 3:16; Titus 3:3–7).

Courage with gentleness under fire

Faithful love will be misunderstood. Our charge is to keep a clear conscience and a gentle answer. “Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts” (1 Peter 3:15), so that when slander comes, your good conduct shames the lies (1 Peter 3:16).

We overcome evil not with outrage, but with good (Romans 12:21). Jesus commands, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27). The world takes notice when conviction and kindness meet.

- Listen carefully; respond slowly (James 1:19).

- Refuse mockery; bless those who curse (Romans 12:14).

- Keep doing tangible good in your community (Matthew 5:16).

The cross defines love

Scripture does not leave love undefined. “And love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10). “But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

At Calvary, love is holy, costly, and covenantal. It does not excuse sin; it pays for it and calls us to newness of life. Any definition of love that cannot carry a cross is counterfeit.

- We repent and believe the gospel (Mark 1:15).

- We learn to love what God loves and hate what God hates (Psalm 97:10).

- We pursue holiness, “without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).

Guarding the flock and our households

Shepherds must watch the flock, for savage wolves do not announce themselves (Acts 20:28–31). Love protects. It warns. It disciplines for the sake of life and reconciliation (1 Corinthians 5; 2 Corinthians 2:5–8).

Parents and spiritual mentors train the next generation. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Households that rehearse the Word will be ready when counterfeits knock.

- Establish family worship with Bible, song, and catechism (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).

- Curate media and peer influences without apology (Proverbs 4:23).

- Practice hospitality that models grace and truth (1 Peter 4:9).

Hope that will not compromise

Our hope is not in cultural approval. It is in a Person. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6). We love our neighbors best by refusing any path that detours around Him.

“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). Love holds fast to Christ, holds out Christ to others, and holds together truth and tenderness for the glory of God and the good of the world He so loves (John 3:16).

- Define terms before discussing them; do not assume shared meanings (Proverbs 18:13).

- Let Scripture supply categories: sin, repentance, forgiveness, righteousness, peace (Psalm 85:10; Acts 3:19).

- Refuse flattery and deceit; “speak truthfully” (Ephesians 4:25).

Pronouns, compelled speech, and conscience

Speech is not neutral. Bearing false witness erodes love. Compelled speech that contradicts creation and truth violates conscience.

- Speak with respect, but do not lie (Exodus 20:16; Ephesians 4:25).

- When pressured to deny reality, remember, “We must obey God rather than men!” (Acts 5:29).

- Seek wise accommodations if possible; if not, accept costly faithfulness with joy (Hebrews 10:34; 1 Peter 4:14).

Hospitality without compromise

The table is a place of welcome and witness, not approval of sin. Scripture distinguishes personal association from church endorsement.

- Befriend sinners like Jesus did, while calling them to repentance (Luke 5:31–32).

- In the church, with professing believers persisting in sin, practice loving discipline (1 Corinthians 5:9–13).

- Do not platform false teaching; do not aid its spread (2 John 10–11).

Pastoring gender and sexual struggles

Many carry deep pain and confusion. Love listens, laments, and leads people to Christ’s lordship over the body.

- Honor God’s design: “male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27).

- Affirm God’s intimate care in our bodies (Psalm 139:13–16).

- Offer patient discipleship, accountability, and realistic hope in sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5; 1 Corinthians 6:11).

Church discipline as a ministry of love

Discipline aims at restoration, not humiliation. The goal is repentance and healing.

- Follow Matthew 18:15–17 carefully, prayerfully, and impartially.

- Keep the cross at the center, ready to reaffirm love upon repentance (2 Corinthians 2:7–8).

- Maintain a culture where correction is normal and mercy is abundant (Proverbs 27:6; Galatians 6:1–2).

Witness in the public square

Love engages civic life for neighbor’s good. It seeks peace without surrendering truth.

- Seek the welfare of your city (Jeremiah 29:7).

- Advocate for the unborn, the poor, the stranger, and the aged (Proverbs 31:8–9; Psalm 82:3–4).

- Practice integrity in vocation; adorn the doctrine of God our Savior (Titus 2:9–10).

Digital discipleship and discernment

The internet catechizes. Love helps people detox from outrage and delight in truth.

- Set limits; pursue quiet, Scripture-soaked habits (Psalm 131).

- Evaluate influencers by doctrine and fruit (Matthew 7:15–20; 1 Timothy 4:16).

- Prefer embodied fellowship over disembodied echo chambers (Hebrews 10:24–25).

Training consciences for complex cases

Not every situation is equally clear. Mature love learns biblical triage and applies wisdom.

- Major on what Scripture majors on; hold secondary matters with humility (Romans 14).

- Use Philippians 1:9–10 as a grid for love with discernment.

- Seek counsel from elders and wise saints (Proverbs 11:14).

Guarding against two ditches

Counterfeit love comes in two forms: lawless license and loveless legalism. Both deny the gospel.

- Grace is not permissiveness: it trains us to renounce sin and live godly lives (Titus 2:11–12).

- Zeal must not outpace love; do nothing from pride or rivalry (Philippians 2:3–4).

- Stay near the cross, where holiness and mercy meet (Psalm 85:10).

Keeping first love first

Only a heart full of Christ can love like Christ. We do not run on outrage; we run on adoration.

- Remember, repent, and do the works of first love (Revelation 2:4–5).

- Abide in Christ; apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5).

- Remain steadfast in hope; your labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).